Twenty years ago, my husband at the time completely discounted the substantial salary I was contributing to the household finances.
He told me, “I make more than you. Your salary and your career is never going to matter as much as mine does. Without me, we won’t survive.”
At the time I felt deflated because I was proud of how far I had come. In an instant I let him take that away.
But then again, his statement had nothing to do with me.
I wouldn’t realize that until a decade later.
It’s easy to feel powerless in today’s world but…
There is never a time where you don’t have power even when it seems otherwise.
Rather, it is resistance or refusal or uncertainty about how to stand in your power at that moment that is always the issue.
Here are a couple of common times that will show up in your life.
- You’ve let another’s opinion(s) override your birthright, who you inherently know you are.
- You’ve let another’s opinion(s) define your worth.
I’m not going to tell you that this is a quick fix.
Rather, like everything in life, it is a practice to get to the shift in perception that you need in order to ignore this kind of this thing.
Yes, that is possible!
The first step is to realize that their opinion has absolutely nothing to do with you.
To get to the point where you can begin to practice this truth, you must first diffuse the emotion out of it for you.
Step back and observe the situation objectively:
- Can you control the past conditioning of that person which has informed how they experience the world generally in every situation they encounter – including this one now with you?
The only correct answer is no.
- Can you control the emotion which is triggered by a pattern they’re in and the story that they’ve attached to that pattern that has caused them to judge you?
Again, the only answer is no.
Knowing these things, can you see that this situation has little to do with you? (not discounting at all that it will feel otherwise)
So, your first step here is to stand back and ask yourself those two questions every single time this kind of thing shows up in your life.
And we do it every single time because that is how we practice a new way of being and shift our perception of how we experience the world.
Instead of showing up responding from our wounding, we can show up with less attachment to the situation and more understanding for where this person might be coming from.
Which is the only thing we can control.
Try it out next time you’re faced with a loss of power.
And again and again until it becomes just how you respond in the face of criticism.
Then watch your reaction be different as you receive it in the future.
Have you tried this?
Let me know in the comments or hit reply to this email to tell me about it!