Wouldn’t it be great if things were just easy?
Like pressing that ‘easy button’ at Staples.
I’ve had decades of going “out there” to find the easy life.
There have been “searches for my soul” and “journeys to find myself” only to be led right back to where I started.
Because you really do have everything you need inside you.
That’s more than an annoyingly uplifting bumper sticker; those are #FACTS.
But if you were anything like I was, you found that guidance to be infuriating!
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“What exactly is it I am supposed to have already?”
“And if it were here, why hasn’t it shown up yet?”
Since it doesn’t announce itself with a flashing neon sign, I’ve had to notice the recurring themes over the years.
I can distill it down to just 3 ingredients for that recipe for a happy life that I want to share with you now.
The good news is that these are all practiced into being; the more you do it, the better you get at it.
Here we go!
Give people the benefit of the doubt.
For the love of god, we have to stop judging people outright with no knowledge to back up those judgments.
I don’t know when it became okay to judge a person as wrong or bad or dangerous, even, for having a differing opinion. But here we are.
We can’t go on social media today without seeing this.
But it’s always been here; it is just highlighted at this specific point in our history.
If you are doing this, I have to ask you, “What are they triggering in you that is scaring the hell out of you?” Don’t think they are? Take a closer look.
Everyone is a mirror in some way.
Perhaps you are doing the same behaviour you are witnessing.
Perhaps you have been on the receiving end of it before that somehow threatened your safety.
Doesn’t matter why you are triggered.
Whatever the reason, it is showing you an aspect of yourself that needs to be healed.
Judging others constantly creates separation from others. And we certainly don’t need any more of that in the world.
But how do we stop judging? That takes us to my next point…
Have no expectations.
This is the one we usually have a problem with because it is where non-attachment comes in and that word seems to throw us before we understand it.
Time and again in every area of my life I see that non-attachment is the major key to happiness, without exception.
The reason we have disappointment is because of the expectations we hold about a person, place or thing.
Now don’t confuse that with not having boundaries.
Absolutely set boundaries and have requirements for your life.
Requirements are what you have determined as necessary to keep yourself in right-alignment.
Knowing what is non-negotiable and what are deal breakers for you in any relationship or situation is necessary to keep you happy and healthy.
These are applied across the board in your life no matter the person you’re in a relationship with. Friends, families, lovers. Doesn’t matter.
You’ve come to your requirements because you have assessed your values and the lack of their presence throws you out of integrity.
When you know and show that this is who you are and it’s just how you roll, people know where they stand and what is required to be in your life. They choose whether to be in it or not.
And when you see someone acting counter to your values and requirements then the ball is in your court. Do you allow it? Do you address it? It’s all up to you.
This approach allows everybody to be who they truly are in every situation which allows more unconditional love to flow through your life.
You aren’t expecting them to be something they are not just to please you. You are who you are and they are who they are and you choose to dance together for a time until you don’t.
Making up and attaching to stories is not looking at the facts of a situation.
Those stories are based on your expectations. You will be disappointed when you use your stories as a yardstick.
Learn to discern between the facts and your stories in your life.
Give up the need to know why things happen.
Too often we try to rationalize things. The fact is we live in a world that is mystical in nature. Don’t believe me? Look around you.
Our world is comprised of billions of souls operating on a mystical level manifested in physical form.
Despite how hard you might try to resist your connection to it, that is a fact that won’t change and one for which you need not see the inner workings to know it exists.
I mean, you believe in gravity, don’t you?
Instead, we’re taught that anything we can’t rationalize with our minds, anything we can’t see, touch, feel and taste, doesn’t exist.
Our so-called reality today, our rational world, is created of arrogance run amok.
We are not meant to know everything. The obsessive need to have everything explained and tied up in a tidy bow is what sends you into overthinking.
Give up the need to know all the answers – because you can’t know and you shouldn’t – and your life will be happier.
Allow for the mystery in your life.
I promise you, you won’t miss anything that’s meant for you!
Things are never happening TO you. We all exist at the level of choice.
Looking “out there” is creating a situation where your happiness will always be dependent on another.
Questions for Reflection:
- Have an honest look where you are judging others. Is there a common theme? What is that situation bringing up in you?
- What attachments have you formed and how are they creating chaotic situations in your life?
- Are you prone to overthinking? Is your need for closure in situations just a pretty mask you put on to need to know why something went down? Do an audit of things in your life you held onto longer than you should have because you just needed to know why.
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