He said, “Wow, don’t be so selfish, Stacey!”

That was the comment when I posted a meme that says: “I’m beginning to love the sound of my feet walking away from what no longer serves me.”

This man, an old family friend who’s known me since I was 6, doesn’t get it.

He’s not alone; a lot of people perceive that saying as selfish.

It was a reminder to me that people don’t like it when you get a backbone.

They are the people that haul out the word ‘selfish’ whenever they feel you need to be put back in your place. It’s an acceptable way in Western culture to shame people into submission.  

But did you lose your way? Of course not, that’s not really what’s happening.

When someone calls you out as being selfish they don’t care if you are not giving to someone else… they are thinking, if even unconsciously, about some future moment when you may deny them getting what they want from you whether that is time, energy, money, attention, sex, love, whatever, it makes no difference.

Selfishness is a term created by our society to suppress those who cannot yet see the glory within themselves.

The term self-glorification only exists in the minds and hearts of those who are triggered by the knowledge that they don’t hold themselves in such high esteem and in those who cannot see their own beauty.

This response from someone highlights their scarcity mentality. They see life through a lens of lack. That is to say, a lens of fear.

And here is the fear: “If you get this, I won’t get my fair share.”

This world is run on the idea of a zero-sum game and that is just not a fact. It is part of the illusion, the lie, we live in.

When you walk away from “that which no longer serves you”, you are honouring an aspect of one of your soul contracts.

We’ve all come here with soul contracts to carry out, the point of which is to learn certain lessons that involve negotiating our power or the power of another.

Usually this involves setting up boundaries. And those who have not yet reached the capacity to set up a boundary for themselves, or those who like to get their way, do not like it when you figure out that you must set them up for yourself.

They are necessary so you can provide yourself with the space to remember who you are, why you are here and the room to carry out that function.

And you can’t do that when you are doing for everyone else.

If doing for everyone else to the exclusion of our own well-being was what we were supposed to be doing all the time, it would feel a hell of a lot better and we would not feel so overwhelmed, exhausted, frustrated and angry by it.  

These people, the ones living in lack, are not able to access the benefit that self-honouring actions provide so they must try to tear down those who can access it.

The issue is they are still believing the stories they and others have told about them their entire lives.

The person who consistently acts in service to her soul, has built spiritual muscle.

And she knows that these stories of selfishness are just that… mythical fiction contrived of nothing more than other people’s perceptions which have nothing to do with her.

Questions for Reflection:

  • How affected are you by being called, or even the thought of being called, selfish? Do you take it to heart? Does it cause you to modify your behaviour? Do you continue doing what you know is right deep in your heart despite the name calling by others? 





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