That fear you feel? Why are you choosing to be at its mercy?
Fear is a tricky mistress and she can disguise herself in many ways… she can show up through anger, rage, anxiety, depression, sadness, loneliness – you name it!
It’s one of the oldest pandemics in the world that no one ever talks about, no one looks to cure and it’s amped up and sweeping this world of change in which we now find ourselves.
While it is normal to feel all the icky feel about this world, which brings up our greatest fears, it is not normal to dwell there.
But, because people do, it’s also deadly due to the stress it causes.
The question is: Has your fear exhausted you enough yet to want to change it?
If a friend came to you stressed out over thoughts that she conjured in her mind letting them run rampant to the point of debilitating her life, you’d think she was crazy. You’d try to shift her perspective. Get her to see it with more objectivity and neutrality. Throw some factual information her way rather than just rumours and reports that may or may not be true. Something based in reality rather than her wild imagination. At the very least you certainly wouldn’t encourage her!
So why are you so willing to accept that level of crazy in you?
You let fear run your life for one of two reasons:
- You believe every thought you have is true just because it comes into your head; and
- You know much of it is mind trash but it’s easier to refuse to take responsibility for what you think because it’s more work to hold yourself accountable. In a word, laziness.
Here’s how you let it in…
Using your free will you choose comfort over inconvenience.
Rather than reaching for a better-feeling thought and long-term peace and happiness, you take the easy way out.
Fear is pushed on us through every avenue in our society much like crack on a street corner in the 80s. You can’t escape it.
And it’s always easier to succumb to what is readily available than to put in the extra effort of choosing to get above the noise of the world. And that noise ALL has an underlying tone of fear.
It’s time to take out the mind trash because you will not function in today’s world of uncertainty by choosing to let fear control your life.
Fear snatches control whenever there is a conflict within your thoughts which creates stress in you.
The stress happens because, ultimately, that conflict will result in a disagreement between your thought and behaviour which takes you out of alignment.
Here are two ways that fear creates stress in you:
- You have a conflict about things you want to do, be or have. This fear is the easier one to live with because the only stress of it you feel is the anger or disappointment rising from the part of you that didn’t get what it wanted.
- The other fear is the conflict between doing what you want and doing what you think you should. And aren’t we all too familiar with this type!
It can’t be fixed by better actions because all your actions flow automatically as a result of your thoughts.
You will need to get clear in your mind about what it is you think, feel and want because fear starts by taking the insignificant and giving it priority in your mind.
That fear is only an idea. A worst-case scenario strung together with a series of what-ifs and in-case-ofs.
Are you willing to give your life over to something that may never happen?
This is the one thing you have to get good at managing if you want any measure of peace in your life.
Questions for Reflection:
- Make a list of what is making you afraid.
- Look at each item and honestly ask, “Am I willing to see this differently?” You’d be surprised at how many people are committed to the drama of fear.
- Ask, “Is this true?” for each item on the list. Worries and potentialities that may never happen don’t belong here. They don’t get space in your mind.
- Dig deeper than what you’ve written. What is the root of that particular fear and what is a better-feeling thought you can reach for to soothe yourself?
i.e.: Fear: I’m never going to be able to see my best friends again.
Root issue: Feeling lonely and grief over the loss of connection to those we love who fill us up.
Better-feeling thought: This is only temporary and I can brainstorm with them to think of a way we can stay connected.
Flow-through action: In the meantime, you decide to schedule weekly Zoom calls to stay connected.
Let me know in the comments below how you are dealing with fear.
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