My partner does this thing that drives me nuts.

Whenever he thinks I’m having a bad day, he will ask if I am struggling.

I hate the word struggle. I want nothing to do with struggle!

I always respond, “No, _____ is happening, and it’s challenging, that’s all.”

No big whoop!

And because I don’t own that struggle narrative, it passes relatively quickly.

So, is something really a problem for you or is it a problem because of how you speak or think about it?

Use your phraseology to shift how you think…

Do you have a problem? OR is something challenging? Is it a tricky situation?

Are you struggling? OR is there something you just need to sit with until the answer rises up? Is it something that you will figure out? Is it something to get curious about? Is it simply fascinating that this pattern always comes up? Hmm, I wonder why that is.

The examples I’ve just given you are ways to rephrase how you speak about everyday events that come up in your life that you see as a problem.

Your vocabulary matters. Using words that throw you into a fear state isn’t going to help you, calm you, or provide an answer for you.

You’ll be tossed into a heap of anxiety and let me tell you, no solutions are found there!

There are some words that just get in the way of solutions. That put you into a closed state rather than an open, receptive one.

Want examples? Below are some words we often use that throw us off track along with some substitutions you can play with.

Notice as you read them which one feels better, lighter or higher vibe in your body and which one shuts you off from expansion.

Are you depressed OR feeling flat?

Are you sad OR gloomy?

Are you worried OR concerned?

Are you bored OR disinterested?

Are you confused OR unclear?

Are you feeling guilty OR regretful that things weren’t different?

Do you hate that person OR are you not a fan?

So what do you say all the time that makes you feel hopeless about a situation?

If you don’t like my examples, I encourage you to come up with your own and redirect your thoughts until you make it a habit.

I wasn’t raised to believe something was “it’s challenging” rather than a struggle.

My entire life I’ve been told it is a struggle and, in fact, there is virtue in the struggle.

Such a lie.

Somewhere along the line I heard the same advice I just gave to you.

And my life changed when I changed the way I spoke about it – consistently.

You just have to call yourself out and rephrase continually until it becomes a habit.

So what do you always say that brings you down?