There is so much hate and vitriol in the world today.

We see it when we share opinions with others and feel attacked or shamed for what we believe… god help us if it isn’t what the majority believes.

How did we get here?

Somewhere along the way, our ability to be gracious has diminished.

Grace is a word we don’t use much anymore.

Grace is a mystical force.

It is an invisible influence that is a soothing presence or agent of change in a situation.

Grace creates the space between that allows the wheels of cause and effect or action and reaction to unfold.

It brings out what people believe in the deepest part of them.

It shows where a person is in or out of integrity with themselves.

Here’s what I mean…

You’re in an argument with a beloved and you have the perfect come back that you know would cut them deeply and you want them to hurt. But you hear a small voice say, “No, don’t say that”. And you know that there is no coming back from that comment.

We’ve all been in that situation whether it is with a lover, family or a friend.

Grace is that voice that pops into your head that says, “You sure you want to do that?”

It can save you from a world of pain.

So how do we bring more grace into a conversation? Try this…

Give – enter into an exchange giving the benefit of the doubt. Don’t commit to the idea that you have it all figured out and you know what’s going on. Just because you can bring down the hammer on someone doesn’t mean you have to. Choosing not to is grace.  

Receive – You might be enraged or frustrated in the moment and it can be difficult to set that aside, but really try to hear what they are saying. That means dropping your projections on what you think is happening or what you believe they did to really sense their energy and receive the truth of what is coming at you. 

Accept – No matter how much we may like to, we cannot control the actions of others. Release any ideas you have about controlling a situation. Trust that when you show up with an open heart, that you will be met the same way by the other… and if you’re not, accept that, too. Why would you want to control another, anyway? That never leads to long-term happiness!

Consider – This is about the absence of judgment. When you enter a conversation this way, the other person feels it immediately. It allows everyone the space to show up more vulnerably, dropping defensiveness, which means a win-win solution is more likely. And, even if it is not, it leaves less of a sour taste in the mouths of everyone involved.

Express – This is the culmination of the process. When you respond with your thoughts, belief and words matching your actions, speaking with kindness, that is grace. Drop all the stories around this and just speak from your heart.

Grace is elegant yet powerful.

Grace infuses any situation with light and compassion.

Grace is the language of the soul.

With our words and actions, we start the creation process.

So are you creating graciousness in your life?

Now over to you!

I’d love to hear in the comments below about a time when grace stepped in and saved you!  

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