“You’re holding yourself back!”
That is a sentence that is hammered home by most coaches.
I know because I’ve said it, too. To clients as well as myself.
“Reach your potential!”
“Be all that you can be!”
“You can have it all!”
But is that true?
Over time, I’ve come to realize it is… and… we are also perfect right now, too.
What if we were just fine how we are in the moment? So-called “flaws” and all. Even when we are down in the dumps. And what if those are not flaws at all? Simply shadow aspects of ourselves, just as important as the pretty bits, necessary to be whole.
The quest for self-improvement keeps us on a perpetual hamster wheel.
Because our potential is unlimited, there is no end to the personal work we can do on ourselves.
And all it does is make us feel like we are never good enough.
Self-improvement leads us down a road of endless searching for fulfillment outside of ourselves whether that is finding a partner to fill us up, getting the promotion, making a bigger impact in our communities or believing we’re not doing enough for our kids even though we’re giving all we can.
Self-improvement is a virtuous term we use to wrap up one of society’s biggest failings of its people – pushing us to be more, do more, have more with no regard to our physical, mental and spiritual limits.
Time to reframe that!
Years ago I stopped calling it self-improvement. I chose to see it for what it is: self-discovery.
What if everything that is seemingly wrong in our lives is actually giving us just what we need to evolve into the next phase of our us-ness?
If that was the case, all of it is just being in the state of becoming.
This changed how I perceived my personal exploration.
Which changed how I saw my enough-ness.
Less unworthiness. Less confusion. Less uncertainty.
Traded for more ease. More flow. More curiosity.
I let go of that shame spiral, where I believed those old stories which added more shame, and then even more on that… you know how that goes.
Instead, I let my inner knowing guide me on that path to worthiness. Sometimes, following that guidance is all you have. And it is enough.
That inner knowing, your connection to Source, never lies.
That inner knowing is gentle and loving and will see you through anything.
To get to a more permanent state of joy, you have to look inside and question what it is that truly lights you up.
Enter: self-discovery. This simple reframe creates a massive shift in how you see yourself and your life.
The fix I want to give you to get more self-discovery in your life is this:
Leave the guilt behind. You are worthy of a loving, joy-filled life.
Get curious. Revel in fun. Dabble. Play. Drink in pleasure of all kinds.
Bring in experiences that allow you to embody delight and deeply feel.
Unravelling the real you doesn’t need to be a pain-filled endeavour.
Yes, we were meant to rise above our struggles. But who made the rule that we couldn’t do so with more ease?
Now over to you – let me know in the comments below how you’re going to bring more ease, joy and play into your life!
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